Fighting Demons And Meeting Angels

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”-Ephesians 6:10-12

Spiritual warfare is not spoken about often and is not something I grew up learning much about, but it is very much present in daily life. The closer I draw to the Lord, the more I see Satan trying to attack me in any way that He can. Whether it is through lies he places in my mind, circumstances that seem to make things crumble around me or just challenging my faith, it so evident to me recently that Satan is alive and well and is trying to thwart anything that is going to be used for God. Satan hates beauty. He hates anything that is made in the image of Jesus and anyone who is trying to serve Him. It is funny how one can go from their highest high to their lowest low so quickly. This past month has been one of the hardest of my life. Just as the Lord was taking me to a place of complete freedom in Him is when the attacks began. It seemed like everything around me started to crumble. All my plans, my health, my hope and my faith were being actively attacked. Last week I finally got to a point where I cried out to the Lord and told Him that I could not take one more thing…not one more! I had no fight left in me. I was emotionally and physically empty. I felt like I had nothing left to give.

It is ironic because when I first moved to Gainesville one of the things that I was not looking forward to was living with roommates. I had lived by myself for a while and knew it was going to be an adjustment. Although it has taken some adjustment, what I didn’t know is that it would be one of the greatest things I have gained since moving here. I have never known community and friendship like this in my life. These two girls have become two of my closest friends and true sisters. This past month they have shown up in an amazing way. They have been there to lift me up when I was down. They have cried with me and prayed for me and have fought for me when I had no fight left. I can not put into words what their constant support and love means to me and even at this very moment is life changing. It is neat how the Lord knows our needs before we do. He knew that I would need them here. I am so thankful for some specific people here and back at home who have stepped up for me in my weakness and are fighting on my behalf. It is in the hardest times that your true friends will show up. This past week I’ve seen what it truly means to be the body of Christ and there is no way to explain how it continues to change my life. I now realize how important it is to have other Christians in your life who can stand against evil with you. In the new movie, “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” there is a place in the movie where the witch (who is representing Satan) holds out her hand and mesmerizes one of the princes. As she is trying to draw him to herself she says, “You know you can’t do this on your own” and that is when his brother comes and saves him. This struck me so strongly, because I now realize how much truth is in that statement. We can’t do this on our own. We can’t live this life by ourselves. Christ has created the Body to support one another and help fight against those things that we cant fight alone. I have seen this play out in my life over the past couple weeks and it continues to make a lasting impact.

Do you ever feel like God isn’t really there? Do you ever feel like He has abandoned you? Even in the darkness, Christ’s light can not be hidden. Just when I feel like my Father has left me, His still small voice calls out to me and shows me that He is still here and knows all that is happening. My roommate, Dawn and I decided to drive up to Athens to attend the Alabama vs. Georgia baseball game. Those of you who know me well know that I love the University of Alabama and going to sporting events. While I was in college I was a Baseball Hostess for the University which meant that I spent almost all of my days during the spring at the baseball field. It was just such a simple joy for me. I have really missed getting to go to games, so being able to go to this game was a big deal to me and something I was really looking forward to. Dawn and I got to the game 40 minutes late. As we walked up to the gate we saw the signs that said the game was sold out. I couldn’t believe it. College baseball games are rarely sold out. I didn’t know what to do. We had driven all that way and now couldn’t get in. I went up to the ticket counter and asked the man if there was any way we could get in, and he said that there were no seats left. We both stood there not knowing what to do. As we were about to walk off we saw this little boy all by himself walking directly toward us with two tickets in his hand. He was walking straight at us as if he was going to turn them back in to the ticket office. I asked him if he was selling the tickets, and he said that he was just going to give them away. I asked if we could have them and before we could really say thank you he had placed them in my hand and walked away. Dawn and I just stood there and stared at each other like we didn’t know what had just happened. It was really surreal. It was as if that was his purpose…to give us those tickets. We turned and walked in. I figured they would just be bleacher seats, but I was just excited to get in and for free no less. As we were looking around trying to find our seats we finally realized where our seats were located. They were not bleacher seats. They were 4 rows up behind home plate. They were literally the best seats in the entire stadium. I couldn’t believe it. Dawn and I just started laughing. Later Dawn told me that she had walked off and thanked the Lord for sending that little boy, and the Lord said to her: “I was that little boy.” I had sensed the same thing. I know some people reading this may be thinking that it was just some free baseball tickets and a coincidence, but I am here to say that it was not a coincidence. I truly believe that little boy was an angel. It doesn’t sound like a big deal, but to me it meant so much. I felt God saying so softly, “I’m still here. I haven’t left you.” To anyone else it wouldn’t have meant much, but God knows even the little things that make me happy and on that day it meant the world.

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”-Ex. 14:14

This blog was hard for me to write, because I am being very vulnerable and letting everyone know that I am going through a tough time right now. But, I hope in this vulnerability that I can encourage someone who feels like they are alone. To let those who feel like God has abandoned them or doesn’t love them enough to know that those are just lies from the Enemy. God is here and He is present and I am learning in this time of brokenness that the Lord just wants me to trust Him. When I can’t do anything else, I have to trust Him. I have to cry out to Him to fight for me when I can’t do it myself. That is where I am. Even though it hurts, I am so thankful for what God is doing in me through these trials. I would appreciate all of your prayers for my health as I have been feeling really sick lately. I would also appreciate all of you to stand with me in prayer for God’s peace and direction in all that He has planned for me. I know that Satan wouldn’t be attacking me so much if God didn’t have something great planned, and I am holding on to that hope! I want to leave all of you with some lyrics from a song that really strikes me at my core and puts my heart into words. It is called “None But Jesus” by Christy Knockels.

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that you are God
In the secret of your presence
I know there I am restored
When you call I won’t refuse
Each new day, again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know you’re sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do your will
When you call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

I am yours and you are mine…

All my delight is in you Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in you Lord
Forevermore

Be blessed!

For His Glory,

Caroline 🙂

Ps. 56:3