“My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.”- Psalm 84:2
Lately I find my heart going back to the same thing over and over again: the desire to be loved. The older I get and the more people I get to know, the more I realize this is something that is common in every person. I truly believe we all have the innate desire to feel loved, wanted and accepted. The problem is that many times we do not receive these things from other people. Often in this world we find ourselves feeling lonely, rejected and unloved.
As I listen to other young people talk about their lives, it all comes back to the desire to be loved. Their families in one-way or another have rejected many of them. Others were not raised in love so they look for it in places that they shouldn’t. Some even go into depression because they feel completely alone in this world. All of these things have gotten me thinking about what my heart yearns for. What I realized is that my heart’s desire is to truly be “known.” Not just for people to say they “know” me, but for people to take the time to REALLY get to know me…to know my heart. When I think about the people who are in my life that fit this description, I must admit that I can only count them on one hand. When I look at this, I have the tendency to let Satan have the window to come in and use this to disappoint me and make me feel unloved.
Just as I feel this way, a quiet voice whispers to my heart that I am not alone because the Creator of the Universe loves me more than I can even imagine. I am NOT alone. Why do I continue to put my heart and hope in the hands of humans instead of in the hands of the only One who will never leave or forsake me? Why wouldn’t I rest in the love of the only One that cannot disappoint me because it isn’t in His character to do so? I tend to love people completely and with my whole heart. When I don’t get that in return, I get hurt and cant see the love that is perfect only in Christ. I want to be able to love completely without the fear of being hurt, because instead of putting my heart in human hands, I have put it in Christ alone. I wont have to worry about my expectations not being met, because I have given my expectations to the only One who can fulfill them completely.
I yearn for Him. I yearn to know Him more. Today I went on a walk through the area around where I live because I just wanted to be away from it all. I desperately needed to be still and just be with Christ. I didn’t know exactly how I would find Him, so I went out into nature to just let Him surround me. As I walked with my headphones in, I was covered with His presence. I saw the beauty of His creation, and even though it only lasted a few minutes before the traffic overwhelmed me, I felt as though it was just He and I. I was alone with my Father. Alone with the One who loves me unconditionally…who is there with His arms open waiting to love me. I yearn to feel that love. I need to know His love continually. I desire to find my worth in Him and in no one else. As I felt the sun beat down on my face and the cool breeze pass around me, I felt as though I was free. I was away from all the distractions; all the junk of the world that I feel like pulls me down every day. I just wanted to be free of it all and to just “be.” All I could hear in my head was the word “peace.” He just wanted me to be still and at peace with Him and with myself. I saw Christ today. I saw Him in the open green pastures. I saw Him in the brightness of the sun. I saw Him in the stillness of the countryside and the quaintness of the little cabin with the smoke stack sitting at the end of the road. He was there. He was in it all and I saw His beauty. So many times I miss it, but today I saw Him in the simplicity of life.
I would venture to say many people have heard the verse Psalm 46:10a- “Be still and know that I am God,” but how many times do we really meditate on it? Sometimes God just wants us to “be” and to really know Him. In the same way that I want someone to want to really know me, Christ wants me to truly want to know Him. May I never overlook Him in the simple things that He uses to show His love to me every day.
For His Glory,
Caroline 🙂
Ps. 56:3
Good for you…to many of us never take the time to slow down and just listen to God. We’re too busy talking and working to just sit and listen.
So good to hear your feelings and heart out in words. Thanks for sharing! I is encouraging and I am praying for you Caroline!
YAY! I knew you just needed some Jesus time- so glad He spoke to your heart and told you to get away and be with Him. I read this and I think back to my last few blogs, and it amazes me that the God of the Universe would take the time to work out every detail and place us into each others lives- I’m so blessed to have a friend and sister to go through everything with! I love you!
The inner peace you have is coming through so loud and clear. I thank the Lord for His continous work in your heart and life. May all of us who feel as you do, be honest with ourselves and stop, turn off our cell phones, TVs, & whatever else is necessary to make time to “Be still, and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10. The quiet time we spend in the His word, in the beauty of His creation and prayer is the key to our peace. I’m so thankful to the Lord for contining to use you in the lives of many, especially me for His glory. I love you!
Caroline, It’s great to hear your heart and see your surrender to Christ. One thing Jesus will NEVER do and that is forsake us! We have a great and wonderful personable Lord who loves us as we are. Keep up the “work” that He has begun in you.
Psalm 61
Touch by Him in Love, Diane B.